Monday, March 20, 2006

Kisses and hugs

Some kids hate being kissed and hugged. I remember that when I was a child, too much touching or just too close proximity caused me considerable physical and psychological unease. This was so irrepressible and obvious that our dear old cleaning lady used to say that I wouldn't stand being married later on in life.
Now, later on in life and married with children, I find that my oldest daughter, Ana, is exactly as I was: she gets along fine with just verbal praise and the occasional hug or kiss.
My youngest daughter, Clara, on the other hand, is completely the opposite. She needs to be hugged - tightly, kissed - frequently, cuddled and physically pampered. She sleeps much better if I hold her hand or massage the back of her head until she falls asleep, she frequently comes up to me to give me (or ask me for) a hug or a kiss and when she sits next to me she likes to be really, really up close and tight. This not only goes for me but for any other person she likes. She very much needs the warmth of physical proximity and touch (which really works out well in the end because everybody loves to hold, hug and kiss her, even at school, where she seems to be treated as some kind of a cute and cuddly mascot).
As I am an older sister, I wonder if as a rule older sisters tend to be more like myself and Ana and younger sisters more like Clara...
Any thoughts on this ?


Anonymous said...

They are not different. They have different ages. Firts you like to be hugged but as you grow older you start to feel embarassed by such demonstrations of tenderness. It is only nartural. First you are dependent and you want to be reassured.As you walk into adolescende you need to free yourself and say "I have nothing to do with these guys"
The problem is that, when you grow much older you want those hugs again. And will you have anyone to satisfy your need. Not certainly your children. That's why grandma's like so much their grandsons

err said...

they're just different but I agree that younger kids tend to be more pampered

Gert said...

I don't like being touched. I have an older sister. I suspect that I have slight dispraxia but that wasn't fashionable when I was young, so it was never diagnosed

Claudia said...

I didn't even know such a thing as dyspraxia existed, but now that I've looked it up, I guess the name fits my "peculiarities" like a glove!