Sunday, December 17, 2006

Lost in translation - 1

Notice in Swiss Hotel - We have nice bath and are very good in bed.
In Czechoslovakia - Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We garantee no miscarriages.
In Thailand (offering donkey rides) - Would you like to ride on your own ass?
In Bucharest, Romania - The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In hotel cloakroom in Berlin, Germany - Please hang yourself here.
In Italian hotel -If service is required, give two strokes to the maid and three to the waiter.
In Las Palmas - If you telephone for room service you will get the answer you deserve.
In Seoul - Measles not included in room charge.
In Austria - Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
In Athens - Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.
In Japan - Depositing the room key into another person is prohibited.
In Torremolinos - We highly recommend the hotel tart.
In London, UK - All fire extinguishers must be examined at least five days before any fire.
In Nairobi, Kenya - Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.
In Japan -You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In Ankara - You are invite to visit our restaurant where you can eat the Middle East Foods in a European ambulance.
In Tokyo - In case of earthquake, use the torch to pass yourself out.
In Acapulco - The Manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In Madrid - If you wish disinfection enacted in your presence, cry out for the chambermaid.

3 comments:

Rauf said...

Names of some establishments in Philipines.

Anita Bakery
Bay Wash Laundry
Bill's Gate Computer Shop
Brad Pet Shop
Bread Pitt Bakery
Candies Be Love?
Chicago Balls (a fishball stand)
Christopher Plumbing Service Shop
Common Cents Store
Curl Up and Dye Beauty Salon
Doris Day and Night (a 24-hour eatery)
Edgar Scissorhands Barber Shop
Elizabeth's Tailoring Garment Shop
Felix The Cut Barber Shop
Fish Be With You Seafood Stand
Goldilooks Barber Shop
Goldirocks Gravel and Sand Shop
Hair Force One Barber Shop
L.B. M. Restaurant
Leon King Video Rental
Maid to Order Placement Agency
Male Box Barber Shop
Mane Attraction Beauty Parlor
Miki Mao Noodle House
Meating Place (a meat shop)
Meatropolis (another meat shop)
Nacho Fast
Passers Buy Convenience Store
Perm Foundation Beauty Salon
Petal Attraction Flower Shop
Saudi Hairlines Beauty Salon
Scissors Palace Barber Shop
Second Time Around – A Used Watch Store
Staying Alive Funeral Parlor
Stomach Inn Motel
Sylvestre's Salon
The Cutting Age Salon
The Way We Wear Clothes Shop
Your Best Vet Pet Care Clinic
Wall Mart Korean Grocery
Wash Up Dock Laundromat
Yo Wash Up Laundromat

Rauf said...

Crash Course in Speaking Chinese

Chinese Phrase English Translation

Ai Bang Mai Ne- I bumped into the coffee table
Ar U Wun Tu- A gay liberation greeting
Chin Tu Fat- You need a face lift
Dum Gai- A stupid person
Gun Pao Der- An ancient Chinese invention
Hu Flung Dung- Which one of you fertilized the field?
Hu Yu Hai Ding- We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive
Jan Ne Ka Sun- A former late night talk show host
Kum Hia- Approach me
Lao Ze Sho- Gilligan's Island
Lao Ze- Not very good
Lin Ching- An illegal execution
Moon Lan Ding- A great achievement of the American space program
Ne Ahn- A lighting fixture used in advertising signs
Shai Gai- A bashful person
Tai Ne Bae Be- A premature infant
Tai Ne Po Ne- A small horse
Ten Ding Ba- Serving drinks to people
Wan Bum Lung- A person with T.B.
Yu Mai Te Tan- Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you
Wa Shing Kah- Cleaning an automobile
Wai So Dim- Are you trying to save electricity?
Wai U Shao Ting- There is no reason to raise your voice

Claudia said...

Very funny, Rauf. I especially like "Your vacation in Hawaii agrees with you" and "Scissors Palace Barber Shop"!