Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Touching base

My parents are due to arrive tomorrow to celebrate Clara's 9th birthday with us. Last year they said they would probably not come again because they already felt too old and tired. Yet, for the sake of their granddaughters, they overcame those feelings and a couple of months ago decided to book the flight to come. They bring us such joy! Can't wait for them to be here!

I feel like I'm in convalescence. Grief and bereavement do that to you, I guess, but this is taking longer than what's deemed convenient. You know that you're supposed to snap out of it quickly, that your sadness is an uncomfortable nuisance to everyone around you, but setbacks happen and sometimes you're sent spinning back into those dark spirals again. Not practical when you've got small kids. They take in everything that goes on around them, which adds to your feelings of guilt. I'm not one to go around breaking everything in cathartic fits of rage but I tend to go into shutdown mode, minimum, life-support-system-only mode, "I'll handle it later" mode.

Having Mom and Dad around for a couple of days will be such a blessing.



Ruth said...

I know what you mean about not wanting that grieving energy to afflict the kids, although I never had that kind of loss (my parents and brother were not close like that). Yet, it is also essential for them to see you go through it, isn't it. I do hope your parents' visit will lift something of the weight from your shoulders.

The photo is especially nice, again, with your words.

Claudia said...

Thank you, Ruth.

Peter said...

I understand how you appreciate the visit by your parents, especially considering that it may mean some kind of "effort" to them! ...and, of course you know that they come not only for Clara's birthday, but certainly and maybe especially to see YOU!